Oh, man, you guys. I saw The Force Awakens last night. More specifically, I saw it at 1:00 this morning. And ooooooooooooh maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan oh man oh man oh man. I have so much to say, but right now after staying up until 5:00 AM talking about it with Nick (oops) and then barely getting any sleep, all I can think of is I REALLY NEED TO SEE THIS MOVIE AGAIN.

The whole Star Wars franchise has been a huge part of my life (which I’ve mentioned in a few other posts) and though I recall seeing the prequels in theaters (or at least The Phantom Menace) nothing, nothing compared to last night’s experience in the theatre. I felt less like I was “just seeing a Star Wars movie” and more like I was a part of history, and it was amazing.

That said, listen, I do not normally get emotional at movies but The Force Awakens turned me into a giant, glibbering mess. So I thought, hey! Before or instead of doing a proper review, let’s talk about all the times I was whimpering into my six gallon popcorn bucket and squeezing my bear to death.

And, as if it was not obvious, this post is going to have spoilers. A lot of spoilers.

Seriously, proceed no further if you do not want the plot spoiled. You have been warned. 

And so, without further ado, a more-or-less comprehensive list of every time I cried during Star Wars: The Force Awakens. We’ll see if I can survive my next showing. (Because there will be a next showing.)

1. During the opening crawl, because I have no chill.

2.When they ordered the village to be attacked (THOSE MONSTERS.)

3. BUT THEN WHEN FINN DIDN’T SHOOT!!! I loved him already! PROTECT FINN 2K15.

4. When Rey didn’t sell BB-8. Everything from now on is PROTECT BB-8 2K15.

tumblr_nzmh77ffrK1v1dmnto2_500

5. “I’ve never had a name before! FINN! I like that!”

6. When Finn was taking off his Stormtrooper armor and leaving it all behind him AND HE WAS VISIBLY LEAVING HIS OTHER LIFE AND COMING TO THE LIGHT SIDE bless you Finn you precious thing

7. When they took off in the Millenium Falcon (I was basically full-on weeping, let’s be real)

8. “Chewy, we’re home.”

9. THE LIGHTSABER IN THE BASEMENT WAAAAAAAAUGH WHAT WAS THAT. WHAT WAS THAT?

10. GENERAL. ORGANA. SHE’S A GENERAL. AND I STILL LOVE HER SO MUCH.

11. When I realized that there were not going to be any gratuitous, excessively long space battles for me to get up and use the bathroom and that I was committed to staying in my seat for the next hour while trying not to die from my bladder erupting.

tumblr_nkm3cumFAI1tu6tfso2_500

12. Han trying to talk down Kylo Ren and I just you guys this was too much even though I saw it coming and the symmetry with the previous films and I just. I JUST.

13. The entire lightsaber duel with Rey and Kylo Ren was just so oh my god, you guys. Rey is so great. She’s perfect. I love her. She is the hero I always wanted out of this franchise. PROTECT REY 2K15!

14. Watching Chewbacca sit in the pilot’s seat on the Falcon was like the most heartbreaking thing I’ve seen in my life.

15. R2-D2 IS BACK WEHHHHHHH WE MISSED YOU R2

16. Just kidding, watching Rey take over the Falcon and Chewy retaking his position as co-pilot was the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

reycrygif

17. TAKE THE LIGHTSABER BACK, LUKE. THE FORCE HAS AWAKENED. WE CAN FIX EVERYTHING.

18. During the closing credits because at this point I gave up any hope of having any chill.

19. When I finally got to a bathroom oh my God you guys that was the longest movie why did we get a large soda??? What was I thinking???

20. When I finally got home because it was like four in the morning and I was so tired, so very tired, but that movie was way, way too great to go to sleep right away.

It was good. It was so good.

I need to see it again.

If you’ll excuse me, I’ll still be over here weeping. The force has awakened indeed.