A few days ago I sat down and wrote this long, rambling post about how miserable the past week has been following my surgery. I really wanted to post that and to be honest about how much everything has sucked, because it has sucked, but… I don’t know. The last two days have felt a little bit different and I didn’t want that to be the picture I painted.
So I’m writing a new update. Not that you’d even know the difference, but… I know. So. You know.
It’s been a week now since I had the biggest dental surgery of my life, what’s probably set to be Part I of II after all is said and done, and as prepared as I thought I was for it I really wasn’t prepared for the reality of what the recovery process would mean. For me so far it’s been especially difficult; I had some complications with my surgery and with my new teeth, and on top of that I don’t think I was really ready for the fact that dental surgery is still surgery. Your body needs time to recover, even if you mentally don’t, or something.
That’s the thing that has been really tough… originally I thought I’d be stuck in bed because I wouldn’t be able to eat a lot and that would make me tired, exhausted, I’d be prone to migraines, etc. Instead it turned out that I legitimately didn’t have any energy and ended up fighting a fever on and off for several days. The initial pain went away pretty quickly, but… the rest of it? The rest of it has sucked.
The hardest thing has been eating. My new teeth didn’t quite fit right like they were supposed to, so I was blindsided by having to eat liquid foods longer than I expected. I mean, I wasn’t planning on chowing down on apples and sandwiches on day two, but I thought I would at least be able to chew some soft things, right? Just really gently?
Nope. Just liquids. I’m so sick of soup and smoothies, you guys have no idea.
And it’s embarrassing; I want to sit here and tell you that I’ve been laughing and playing video games while cuddled up in bed, but it’s hard not having working teeth. Media, society, nosy strangers, sites like “People of Walmart” want us all to be super judgmental of people without teeth, and it sucks seeing yourself like that, being like that. It took me several days to be able to drink a cup of water without spilling it all over myself, and that’s embarrassing. Like, super embarrassing. I didn’t really have anyone to answer to but myself and the people I live with, but I still knew, you know? And it gets you down. A lot.
I went out of the house for the first time yesterday since the procedure on Monday, just to stop into Michael’s to get some crafty things. It was exhausting and the most I’d walked around in days, but more importantly it was my first time being around people while I didn’t have my teeth in, while I wait to figure out the sizing on my new teeth.
I had trouble talking to the cashier, but no one said anything to me. No one stared.
That was pretty cool.
Part of the reason I didn’t want to post my original post was because I was really scared to go out. I didn’t know when I would get to go out again, I didn’t know what to expect. But yesterday really helped; if people aren’t going to look at me weird (or if I can at least have one trip outside where they won’t) maybe it’ll be okay once I have my new teeth. And it’s a little weird putting all of this information out there, too, letting everyone know what happened. But my teeth were killing me. I was miserable. And while I do care how I look, and I do want people to look past things like my teeth, I feel like it’s important to kind of… you know. Own up to everything, work past it, and then move on with my life.
And that’s going to be okay. I can do that.
I’m still probably going to need to be more or less on bedrest for awhile, but this week I can at least ease back into posting and ease back into working in bed. As I mentioned on my previous post, if you wanna make things a little easier I do have an Amazon Wishlist and a Steam Wishlist. And this week my goal is to get back to posting, get some awesome stuff up, and try to move on with my life. Even if I’m kind of stuck in one place for awhile. You can also, as usual, head over to the Patreon if you want to help me gear up for next month, because we are going all in, and I’ve had a lot of time to think about what sorts of posts I want to be writing, which is really cool.
And, you know, if you have any smoothie or soup recipes, well… I could probably use them.
Thank you to all of you who are regular readers here at the blog, to everyone who’s shared a post or sent me a wish list item or a video game or even just fun links to read while I’ve been recovering. You are all extremely awesome, and I’m really glad to have such cool people along with me for the ride.