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Author: Manda Collis

Getting Your Lazy Ass To The Gym – A Guide For Normal People

On Monday I woke up at 5:30 in the morning to go to the gym. If you had told me a few years ago that I would be doing this I would have laughed right in your face. My mom gets up at 4:45 to go to some crack of dawn yoga class and I still think she’s crazy. I guess it kind of helps that I share a car so my gym time is limited by my car time and willingness to spend extra gas, and the fact that I’m a person who actually does okay when I MAKE myself...

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Moving Past 2016, or Credit Where Credit is Due

You wake up, it’s a bright shiny new year. This year is going to be different, you tell yourself. You roll over in bed, you listen to “This Year” by The Mountain Goats for the thousandth time (it’s tradition, obviously) you greet the sun like it’s somehow going to shine differently, you make jokes about how much last year sucked and how this year is going to be so much better. Except last year was last week, was a few nights before, and things are only as better as you make them. It’s a project. A work in progress. It’s why you...

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Eulogy for a Fallen Appliance

To the five-speed Rival handmixer I purchased for three dollars ($3.oo) at Walmart on Black Friday in 2010: For what you were, you served me well. Seven cheese braids, countless cakes, the occasional sauce, even though your robust power was far too strong for me to take advantage of more than the first speed setting. We had some good times together, often involving me swearing in the middle of the night or at early hours of the morning. You were no KitchenAid, but you got the job done. We were never supposed to have you so long, actually. I...

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In Which Manda Has Opinions About Rogue One

Whoo, haaaaaaa, boy howdy, let me tell you, do I have a lot of THOUGHTS about Rogue One. I know you saw this coming. Maybe, I don’t know. I had a lot of opinions about The Force Awakens, which was mostly a series of thoughts of me being overwhelmed, but listen. We saw Rogue One last night. And when I say I have thoughts, I have thoughts. This may have some things some people consider spoilers. If you care about those, please go read some other posts. Here’s a great list of fantastic holiday songs to keep you busy, if you’re into that kind of thing....

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Manda’s Absurd Holiday Special: 2016 Edition

It’s that time of year again! You know, the one where we continue to hear ridiculous holiday tunes everywhere we go whether we like it or not. Ah, Christmas music. I love it, really. Even the annoying ones. There are a few exceptions, of course, but by and large I’m usually pretty excited to hear nonstop holiday tunes from December 1 on through… well, whenever I get sick of them. Maybe Christmas Day. Maybe January. Maybe March. It’s fine. Last year’s Absurd Holiday Special will be tough to beat, mostly because I chose some of my most favorite absurd songs...

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