New Story – The Thief
I decided to try my hand at another one of Chuck Wendig’s Friday Flash Fiction Challenges – the prompt: A short story of 1000 words or less. Must be crime fiction. Must include guns.
This is, of course, by no means my best writing, but I humbly offer my story. This was a bit of a just for fun project for me to get the juices going before I get on to the Nitty Gritty things I need to be writing today, so here we are.
“The Thief” Flash Fiction – Click to Read
Read MoreWorking It Out
Some people like to exercise. I am not one of those people.
I never played sports as a kid. I spent most of my time in front of the computer or on a stage or reading books. I don’t “work out.” I get worn out when I run for more than 10 yards. Lifting weights are too much work.
It’s funny though, as I’ve gotten older (those of you in the older-than-me peanut gallery can keep your traps shut) I’ve started to realize that Working Out Doesn’t Have To Suck. In fact, I don’t even have to “work out.” Last summer when I was biking everywhere and hooping all the time, I was in pretty impressive shape. I wasn’t even trying to work out. I was trying to have a good time and get to work without running over tourists in my Celica.
At any rate, I picked up my hoop for the first time in months this morning – sad, considering that I haven’t hooped all summer and it’s nearly fall, but it was nice. I didn’t even pick up the big hoop – I went for the two small ones I bought at the Dollar Tree ages ago with the intent to work on my hand work/weaving until I could afford to get a nice set of twins1. I put on some Lady Gaga. I sweat.
It’s funny, I always looked at working out or exercise as something that had to be torture to be useful. It’s not supposed to be fun, it’s supposed to be healthy. Sort of how salad is supposed to taste absolutely terrible unless drenched in some kind of fattening sauce. But that’s the trick, I think: you’re supposed to like being healthy, so maybe you should like exercise.
Me, I like hooping. I love hooping. The first workshop I ever attended involved lots of talk about your chakras and hippie stuff like that. I dig that. I totally believe it. Hooping makes me feel relaxed, grounded, like I’m in some kind of amazing spiritual shape. Not only do I feel like I’m burning calories, but it just makes me happy. I tried hooping in front of the mirror earlier. I am not a smile-y person. I think I come off grumpy more often than not. But man-oh-man could I even see on my own face that I was having fun.
I think it’s important to do something that you enjoy that’s considered exercise. It’s good for the soul. It makes you happy. If you try running every day and you hate it, maybe that’s not for you. That’s not going to do you any good. Me, I’d be so pissed off from having to run, I’d probably go eat a dozen cupcakes injected with Baileys to drown my sorrows in food and liquor. That’s useless.
So, I dance. I do what everyone probably has done at some point in behind closed doors in front of a mirror2 and just let loose and have fun. I’m telling you. Good for the soul.
Any other exercise-haters out there? What’s your secret? Yoga? Squirrel Shotput? Any other hippies out there?
_______________________________________________________
1. Hoops, not children.
2. Oh, quit being perverse.
Read MoreInternet, Meet IRL.
For those of you that are under a rock or just don’t pay attention to anything but kitten videos and CNN when you log online, Google’s launched a (likely to be perpetually in beta) social network to compete with the likes of Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, and what have you. Not that they’ve even announced it’s a competition – simply by throwing their hat into the ring, Google is well on it’s way to running the show.
One of the big issues many, many people have – which, frankly I’m shocked at – seems to be the “real name issue.” Google requires you to have a real name – not a silly persona like Rainbowflower4523. They want you to be, well, you.
On one hand, I understand the desires of folks to remain anonymous. Anonymous as an online identity was born with the internet, it’s only in recent years that we’ve started getting comfortable sharing our real names – beyond that, some folks have some pretty good reasons for wanting to be anonymous. They don’t want an ex-husband to find them, they’re famous and want to browse privately. I dig that. But, really internet – isn’t it time that we dropped the guise of the internet?
So many of us – myself included – try really hard to convince people that our constant browsing habits, our online interaction, is completely normal and ordinary. Even in this day and age I still have trouble getting people to understand that I use my real name – first and last – in many places on the internet. It’s blasphemy. Shocking. Taboo. You don’t do it – even though, y’know, hundreds of thousands of us are.
Internet, Meet Real Life. Real Life, Internet.
Seriously, think for a minute – how much do we discuss the internet in real life? At any point today did you say – in person, on the phone, via text message – “send me a message on Facebook,” “I saw on Twitter…” “I was reading the news on HuffPo…” Right. You were. You were Tweeting, Facebooking (probably with a real name!), reading news on one of the most popular online news sources…that doesn’t exist in real life.
It’s time we got over our phobias of marrying our online personalities with our real ones. For those of you late to the game, I’m on G+, Facebook, have a YouTube channel, a Twitter account, this blog, I’m a member of a coupon forum, so on, and so forth. I don’t bother trying to keep those avenues separate, because I’ve realized how fun it is when someone I know from Twitter or G+ discovers I have a YouTube account, or when someone follows me on Twitter and then realizes I have a blog. Even better, occasionally real life friends will see what I post on facebook and engage me in conversation. Out of nowhere, someone will tell me they loved a cover song I did on YouTube because it’s one of their favorite bands. BAM. Instant friendship. Instant gratification.
The Art of Not Being an Idiot
The main reason I think most people don’t want to have a simultaneous online and real life personality is because, frankly, many people are ashamed of what they do on the internet. I know plenty of YouTubers who don’t tell their family that they have a channel at all – they’re embarrassed. Despite online putting up a guise of being completely confident and proud of their work, when it comes down to talking goofy videos with their family – they’re just not up to the task.
Pro-Tip: If you don’t post pictures of yourself acting stupid on the internet, no one will judge you for having pictures of yourself acting stupid. How amazing is that! These kids who get in trouble for posting photos of themselves drinking or smoking or whatever it is kids do these days? Yeah. Stop that. You’re making yourself look stupid.
There’s also the fact that, hey, no one is really anonymous. Seriously. You may have come up with the name Josie Cumberbuntcake to post your super sekrit videos with thinking no one will ever know it’s you, but they will find you. Put one toe out of line, use the same email address for your Webkinz account and your Super Porn Fiesta 1000000 subscription, and someone will make the connection. Seriously.
No one can stalk you if you never share your address online or avoid posting videos/photos of too specific locations. No one’s going to send you unsolicited emails or phone calls if you don’t share your email or phone number with the public. Do unto the internet as you’d like done unto you. Or something like that. Just, you know, don’t be an idiot.
If You JUST GOTTA – or, How To Quit Whining About G+
For those of you that just HAVE TO HAVE an alter ego – do the smart thing, come up with a realistic sounding name for yourself. Obviously Mandarific <3<3 isn’t going to go over well with the Google People. Pick a fake name that sounds real and call it a day. Use a different email address than your personal one. G+ works the same way as any other website – if I don’t want to be found when I register for something, I don’t use my personal email. I use a dummy account with a fake name. It works wonders. Seriously.
Google+, on that note, isn’t a place for connecting privately – it’s a very open, broad place. It’s a little bit like one of the ancient Roman forums, or like that guy who stands on the corner in the city and asks you if you’ve heard about Jesus lately and if you know the world is going to end three months ago today and have you repented? Because if you haven’t, you’re probably going to burn in hell. Google+ is that guy.
Me? I’m on G+ loud and proud. Well, maybe not so loud. I don’t post much to the public, I mostly use circles for my posting. It helps me stay private when I want to stay private, and lets me spew nonsense to my hearts content when I want to do so.
I know it’s tough, opening up, mixing real life and the internet – but isn’t it about time the internet was better integrated with our daily lives? We’re already checking into the internet on FourSquare when we visit places, using the internet to connect with friends and family – why is it such a bad thing to mix the two? Are we all just that ashamed that we spend more time interacting with a screen than with real people?
Not me. Go team Internet, I say.
What about you?
Read MoreCouponers Anonymous
Hi. My name is Manda. I’m a couponer.
I’m going to be honest, when my mom first suggested that I look at coupons to save money I was like pbbbbbt. Pffffffft. COUPONS. I generally don’t like things that require effort. Coupons require a lot of effort. You have to cut them out, find them on websites, remember to use them before the expire, and half the time they’re for crap that you won’t even use. When would I ever touch these things?
Ohoho, ohhhhhhhhhhohohohoho how I was enlightened.
See here’s the thing – most people I’ve talked to, when they hear about coupons, they always assume a couple things. Generally the consensus is that people occasionally use coupons for things that they’d be buying anyway – say you drink soymilk and a $1 off Silk Soymilk coupon comes your way, you’ll probably use it. They don’t really go out of their way to get stuff.
And then there’s the people who follow the Extreme Couponing show. A complete… well, I want to use the word “farce” here but I’m not sure it would be appropriate; anyway, it’s basically a three ring circus of pre-planned hundred-mustard-bottle, low out-of-pocket payment, coupon-abusing insanity. It’s a fun show to watch. It’s great to get ideas. And it’s also vastly unrealistic.
However, the facts are these -
- You can absolutely get stuff for free with coupons.
- You can eat BETTER with coupons and actually afford to buy name brand products.
- You will save. A lot. Of money.
I typically save about 40%-60% when I shop. Sometimes more than that. Sure, we still have to buy things like milk and bread, but those are the only things I pay retail price for. Everything else gets couponed. EVERYTHING.
So here’s what I’m going to do – because I like talking coupons and I like getting other people involved, once a week or so I’m going to post one of several Guides to Couponing. I’ll even do it on Sunday so you can read it and then get all pumped up about going to get your newspapers. Get it? Got it? Good?
While I’m at it – anyone out there use coupons? What’s your experience with couponing been? Have any coupon related questions?
Throw ‘em at me. Manda is here to help.
Read MoreTime is Contagious.
Whoa. Whoa.
Is this thing on? *taps glass*
I have been a busy bee, I-tell-you-what. I’ve been so busy, in fact, that I can’t even remember all the things I’ve been doing that have been keeping me so busy! Who knows what I’ve been up to!
It’s funny, not that long ago I was excited about summer and all of the fun it would bring. Now I’m begrudgingly eyeing “Back to school” sales and watching the temperature (slowly) inch away from hell levels and considering how nice it will be when Fall comes back around. Where did Summer even go?
It’s funny, as kids, Summer is endless. It’s like one non-stop episode of Phineas and Ferb – coming up with stuff to do every single day, that feeling like you’re going to completely forget everything you’ve learned the year before because summer is so lonnnnnnnnng and I Don’t Have To Read Those Books Yet, I Have Forever To! But it always sneaks back up on you in the end.
Getting older creeps me out. I know, I know, don’t give me the speech. “But Manda,” you’re thinking. “I’m so much older than you! Quitcherbitchin!” But really – time just seems like it’s going faster and faster.
GenCon came and went this weekend before I even had time to whine about not making it again this year. My endless to-do list seems to be glaring at me for being abandoned so long. I swear I said I’d do this stuff “next week” and suddenly it’s been three months. Just, man. Where has time gone?
How about you? How are you? Are you alive? Has everyone collected dust while the world has just been spinning on without my paying attention?
Say hi. I missed you.
Read MoreAlways.
So, tomorrow, J.K. Rowling is supposed to announce something “big” for the Harry Potter fandom.
Hopefully it will put to rest all the negative comments I’ve been hearing for the past few weeks about the series ending.
For those of you who are new here, it’s no secret that I’m extremely involved in the Harry Potter fandom community – I’ve been running a Potter play-by-post RPG for about ten years now, I’ve been a MuggleNet Fan of the Week, I traveled to Florida last summer to speak at a Potter conference. For over ten years, I’ve attended midnight showings of the movies, midnight releases of the books, stayed up all night reading, dressed in dozens of costumes, rattled off hundreds of quotes. It’s with this experience that I can tell you, one hundred percent – we aren’t going anywhere.
I get the sadness behind the last movie ending – it will be one great big chapter of life ending. We’ve watched these kids grow up, we’ve grown up with them, we’ve watched all the movies. For ten years now, this has been going on – and we’re closing the book on it. Done. Movies over.
But the movies aren’t the whole fandom. In fact, does anyone remember the last Lord of the Rings movie? We didn’t say “Oh noooooo! It’s over! No more Middle Earth!”
Hell no! We said “I can’t wait for the Hobbit!” or “I wonder what will make it to the extended cut” and “Maybe we should go play some D&D?”
I suppose that’s the good thing about “Pottermore” – sure, we don’t know what it is yet (though I’ve got a pretty good hunch) – but no matter what it turns out to be, more than anything it’s a sign from Jo Rowling that we aren’t going anywhere – that the ending of the last movie isn’t going to suddenly make the books get shelved where we’ll never see them anymore or the DVD’s be unwatchable or the theme park just drop off the face of the planet.
The point isn’t to mourn it’s passing – the point is to enjoy it, every minute. Every minute of holding on to those ticket stubs, waiting impatiently in line for hours; every minute of sitting in the theatre staring at a blank screen, every second of the movie as it plays, and every last bit of life as a Harry Potter fan that follows after. We’ll be here when the DVD is released, when the theme park is expanded, when Pottermore comes to life, and when the movies get remade in ten or twenty years – and we’re not going anywhere.
Besides, Albus Dumbledore put it best – “Of course it’s happening in your head, Harry – but why on earth should that mean it isn’t real?”
Read MoreAh, the Opinionated Internet
This weekend was awesome. A mini vacation, Medieval Times, Packers winning the Super Bowl. All in all it was probably the best birthday weekend ever. But more on that later.
Following the Super Bowl on the internet is like the greatest example of this weird cultural movement that is online society – basically, this bizarre sense of entitlement everyone feels about their own opinions. Their opinions become no longer opinions, but fact. Phrases like “I think” and “In my opinion” or “I believe” are now completely absent from the English language. Frankly, it’s getting a little bit scary.
See, maybe I’m just too mellow. Despite being an avid internet-goer and queen of all things snark, I genuinely don’t have a lot of “hate” for things that aren’t, like, a giant cultural crisis. I hate what’s been going on in Zimbabwe and I hate that the people in Egypt felt they needed to destroy all those historical relics to make a point. What I don’t hate is stuff. I don’t hate Twilight or WWF. Okay, so wrestling isn’t for me, but I don’t hate it. That seems a bit extreme, yeah?
So the Super Bowl, I don’t know if you’re a Twitter-er or Facebook-er, so I’ll share with you a bit of what it was like. Every Facebook status that wasn’t directed towards a certain team being in the Super Bowl was something along the lines of:
“The Super Bowl is so STUPID. Why do we have to have a whole day directed towards this dumb sport?? The TV should show HOCKEY ALL DAY!”
“Ugh, not caring about the Super Bowl. I’d rather shoot myself than watch.”
“Everyone knows the Dallas Cowboys are the REAL Super Bowl champs!”
And then you know, there’s the Twitter Stream…
“Looks like I have to turn twitter off today. Ugh. Too much Super Bowl talk.”
“That performance was so bad, I’d rather get a root canal.”
“Who gives a shit about Football? You all are dumb.”
I know what you’re thinking. This is the “usual stuff” we see from people’s opinions on the internet – but I couldn’t help but feel guilty that I a, was watching the Super Bowl to begin with, and b, kind of didn’t think the Black Eyed Peas performance was all that terrible aside from the sound mixing. The fact is, Sunday wasn’t a day for Hockey Fans or Canadians or people who prefer reading to sports – it was a day about football. Many people in the country were tuned in to the Super Bowl, many people were having parties and enjoying the company of others – it’s not something you can change. We get our one day a year, just smile and nod and let it be - it’s only one day, right?
Mostly I just want to know when people decided that “live and let live” or “to each his own” were stupid ideas and should be trashed. I totally get the whole “this is the internet! say what you want!” thing – but is there really a need to voice so much…negativeness? Why is it always what you don’t like? Yesterday I tweeted a couple times about how excited I was to be watching the Packers and how the game was. When your sport of choice is doing great or you’re really enjoying your favorite TV show, I invite – nah, encourage you to do the same. Try being positive and enjoying it instead of hating on everyone else’s opinions for once.
I see the same thing in small fandom circles and the like – you’ve all seen it. “I hate Twilight!” someone proclaims. “It’s so dumb! It’s stupid! Edward is Gay!” People seem to forget that without a “I think” before that statement, it comes off as kind of rude to the Twilight fans. Someone out there really, really likes Twilight. Maybe it was the first book they ever really read and enjoyed. Maybe it got them into role playing or reading or researching actual vampire lore and they learned more about Dracula because of it, or maybe it got them into writing. It may not be your favorite book, but it’s someones. How would you feel if someone was saying terrible things – not opinions, but things like calling it stupid – about your favorite book? Maybe a little bit miffed?
Recently at the Vault I asked the “Coke or Pepsi?” question in our chatbox just for laughs. The internet responded with a resounding “Neither!” or “Dr. Pepper is best!” Disregarding the fact that there were only two options entirely, they filled in the blanks. Are these same kids taking tests and writing in “Maybe” where the only possible answers are “Yes” and “No?”
Everyone is entitled to their opinion – but, this may come as a newsflash, your opinion isn’t any more valuable than mine, or your grandmother’s, or that guy’s down the street. You can “hate” Glee all you want. You’re entitled to that. But you’re not entitled to hate on me for being a huge fan of the show. Just as you’re entitled to hate, I’m entitled to love. We all get our opinions – it isn’t the hateful, rude ones that are king of all other opinions. That’s not how that works.
As for me, I don’t have an opinion on Twilight because I’ve never read the books. Glee is one of my favorite shows. I thought Space Chimps was a terrible movie. I was really proud to be watching the Super Bowl yesterday, and even moreso when the Packers won. I didn’t think the Black Eyed Peas performance sucked that bad. I think Wendy’s chicken nuggets aren’t all that great.
But hey, to each his own.
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